


Suicide Romantics

by LamarandKadar



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Murder, Childhood Trauma, Coming Out, Dating, F/M, First Kiss, M/M, Physical Abuse, Substance Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Suna Rintarou is a good brother, Verbal Abuse, it's not all pain I swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:01:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28741407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LamarandKadar/pseuds/LamarandKadar
Summary: “Ya never got back to me about goin for lunch this weekend.” Osamu blurted out during the cool down.“I kinda assumed it was off since…” Rintarou trailed off and glanced at Atsumu who was seated across the gym stretching out his hamstrings.“Just cause Atsumu’s a scrub, doesn’t mean we gotta derail everything.” Atsumu’s distant glare intensified and Rintarou felt chills creep up his back. “Aran or Kita’ll join us. It’ll be great.”
Relationships: Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 42
Kudos: 102
Collections: SunaOsa





	1. A Sense of Normalcy

**Author's Note:**

> The title Suicide Romantics comes from a song with the same title by Des Rocs. Don't worry though, I don't plan on killing anyone.

Practice makes perfect, practice makes perfect, practice makes perfect…. Screw practice, Suna Rintarou felt like his legs were gonna fall off.

“Pick up the pace, kids! How do ya expect to beat Itachiyama if ya can't even keep up with the track team?” Coach Kurosu barked at them as they ran past the gym and around the building.

"But we don't have to run four kilometers at nationals." Akagi gripped under his breath. Rintarou couldn't agree more.

Rintarou slowed to a lazy walk once he rounded the corner and was out of the coaches sight. The rest of the team continued the lap around the entire goddamn campus, but Rintarou couldn't care less. It's not like he's graded on this, it's a mindless warm up activity for an extracurricular club, he could afford to slack off a little bit. Besides, Rintarou always came through in the end. He might be lazy, but he'd be damned if he wasn’t competitive.

He picked up the pace when Coach Oomi’s eyes fell on him, but other than that he didn’t want to waste energy on warm ups like the twins did. From the corner of his eye he could see the twins lap him, both trying and failing to out due each other.

When warm ups were done practice continued like it always did, scrimmages, penalty laps, drills. It was constant, like clockwork. Consistent, like nature. It was oddly comforting, and even though Rintarou hated the sticky miserable feeling of exerting energy and strained muscles, it’s the exact same feeling that always brought him back. That and the satisfaction he felt when he tooled the opposing middle blockers, it felt good to see the plain frustration on their faces.

After practice they stretched, and Rintarou had the unlucky fortune of being sandwiched between the Miya twins. They hadn’t talked with him very much in their first year, besides the occasional jeer when they caught him filming their fights or their excitement when he made a good play. That’s what made the current situation so uncomfortable. One twin on either side, both staring at him like he had ruined their lunch.

“What’s with you two today? Don’t you usually compete to see who can do the most toe touches?” Both twins synchronously switched from stretching their arms to their legs.

“You were bein’ real lazy today Suna. I could tell by the way ya hit the ball.” Atsumu’s face twisted with annoyance while Osamu kept a neutral expression.

“So what if I’m not revving at one hundred percent? I don’t go all out in practice like you do.” Rintarou bent forward, reaching for the tips of his sneakers. “I’m not a try hard.”

Osamu stifled a laugh and Atsumu pouted.

“I’m just saying yer good, is all. If ya don’t push yerself then you’ll never get better.” Atsumu got up and cracked his neck. “I hate wasted talent.”

“Who do you think you are? My mother?” Rintarou couldn’t help smiling a little bit when Atsumu’s face turned red and he stomped off to the locker room. He would be a pain in the ass later, but it was fun to push his buttons a little.

“Yer dismissed for the day.” Coach Kurosu gathered up his things and promptly left the building, not even waiting to keep an eye on the troublemakers.

"Sorry 'bout him," Rintarou turned to see that Osamu was still next to him, rolling out his calves with a strained smile. "He's been extra shitty since I told him I'm gonna quit volleyball after high school."

"If you’re not going professional then what are you gonna do?" He found himself asking. Rintarou wasn't usually one for small talk, but he was in a good mood today.

"I was thinkin' bout opening a restaurant after I graduate. Still gotta work out the kinks n stuff, but it’s always been a dream of mine." Osamu stretched forward, his shirt riding up in the back. "What about you?"

"I'm not sure where life will take me. Things are kind of complicated at the moment."

"Complicated? Ya okay?" Rintarou almost felt like laughing at the genuine look of concern on Osamu's face.

"I'm fine. It’s just family stuff. You have your own drama to deal with." They both turned to see Atsumu stomp out of the locker room, looking to pick a fight with someone. Osamu sighed heavily and Rintarou let himself smile a little. "I'll see you tomorrow at practice?"

"Yeah." Osamu said quietly as Rintarou walked towards the locker room. 

As much as the twins were troublesome they were also very entertaining. Rintarou decided that volleyball was worth the effort and exertion. If only moments like this would last forever.

* * *

“Ay! Suna!” Rintarou looked over his shoulder to see the twins and Aran calling out to him.

“We’re goin’ out for soba.” Osamu gestured him over with a swing of his arm. “Ya comin’?”

“Nah, I have to take care of my sister.” Rintarou felt only a pinch of guilt when Osamu’s face fell. “My parents are out of town.”

He turned around and started walking as fast as his lazy legs would allow him. Rintarou told himself not to feel guilty over one of the shitty twins, Osamu’s appetite would never be dampened, regardless of company. He slowed his pace to a trudge when he knew he was out of sight. 

Part of him wished he had accepted the invitation for soba, but he couldn't leave his sister alone. If his parents found out he'd be dead meat, he didn't want to give them another reason to look down on him.

So he continued to drag his feet all the way to the front door of his home. Rintarou unlocked the door and slipped his shoes off by the entrance. His sister’s shoes were neatly placed off to the side so she must have been home for a while.

“Aoi, I’m back from practice.” He heard the faint noise of video games coming from upstairs but no response. Rintarou wrinkled his nose and walked into the kitchen to get a chuupet before going up stairs.

"Did you eat anything yet?" Rintarou kicked open the door to his sister's room and was greeted with a pillow in the face.

"Learn to knock, asshole!" Aoi returned her full attention to the screen. "And yeah, I had leftovers from yesterday."

"Chuupet?" He offered her one and she snatched it away like a feral cat. "At least say thanks, you little shit."

Aoi stuck her tongue out at him.

"Don't be so mean Aoi-chan." Rintarou teased her and flopped on top of her.

"Get off me!" Aoi waved her controller around and wheezed. "Your fat ass is crushing me!"

"You think my ass is fat, thanks." Rintarou rolled off of her with a coy smile on his face and she smacked him with another pillow.

"I hate you." Aoi mumbled while suppressing a small grin.

"I hate you too." The Suna siblings gave each other the middle finger and returned to their own activities. Aoi continued her first person survival game while Rintarou absentmindedly scrolled through his socials.

"Did you finish your homework?" Rintarou asked without even looking up.

"No."

"You gonna finish it?" Rintarou glanced at Aoi's concentrated expression.

"No."

"Go do your homework, lazy ass." Rintarou nudged her with his foot and kept scrolling.

“Hypocrite, I’ve seen you during games. I know enough about volleyball to know that you slack off when you have the upper hand.” She paused her game and stuck her tongue out at him.

“It’s called conserving your energy. Besides, I score the most points during games. I’m not lazy.” He liked the picture Osamu posted of his soba. “You should finish your homework. Otherwise mom’s gonna be pissed when she comes back.”

"I'll do my homework when you come out of the closet." Rintarou glared at her from over his phone.

"You got me there." Rintarou got up to migrate to his own room. "Just don't let mom catch on to your shitty grades."

"Yeah, whatever." Aoi rolled her eyes and Rintarou retreated to his quiet room.


	2. Adding Fuel to the Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is my firm belief that Suna has both mommy and daddy issues. And sorry if there are any errors, I'm too lazy to proofread more than once.

A taxi pulled up to the Suna family house and a middle aged unassuming business woman stepped out of the cab. She fumbled with her keys before opening the door and draged her small suitcase inside. After hearing the commotion she had made, Rintarou walked down the stairs to greet his mother and take her belongings up stairs.

“You’re home early.” Rintarou said with little inflection. It was best to speak calmly to her when trying to read her mood.

“I am, so what of it?” Suna Keiko leveled a scrutinizing glare at her son. “The conference didn’t last as long as I thought it would.”

“If you had called before you left I could’ve made dinner or something.” Rintarou tested the waters, she seemed aggravated, but he didn’t want her to explode on Aoi. Things would get nasty if the two of them ended up fighting.

“I was in a rush Rintarou. You wouldn’t understand, you’ve never worked such a hellish job before.” Keiko kicked off her shoes haphazardly and sat herself on the couch.

"How was the conference?" Rintarou asked and leaned against the banister of the stairs.

"Same as always, my boss was an asshole like he always is." Keiko had a sour look on her face and Rintarou regretted asking in the first place.

Rintarou turned away and walked upstairs. He sighed and dropped her bag in her room before telling Aoi that their mother had returned sooner than expected. They shared a look of disdain and Rintarou closed the door.

“Rintarou!” Keiko called from the living room. He begrudgingly trudged down the stairs and looked at her. She met his eyes with a stern glance and held up his and Aoi’s report cards. “I was looking through the mail and found these. Your grades are decent, but Aoi’s average fell.”

Keiko pulled out a cigarette and a lighter.

“I thought I told you to make sure your sister does better in school.” She lit her cigarette and puffed out a small cloud of smoke.

“She’s been doing better the past couple of days. She’s passing her classes, I don’t see the problem.” Rintarou walked into the kitchen to get away from the nauseous smell of her cigarettes. “You should take that outside. I don’t want to get cancer.”

“I pay the bills so I can do what I please. And don’t try to distract me.” Keiko followed him to the kitchen and pulled out a frozen dinner while Rintarou poured himself a glass of water. “You’re too focused on volleyball, that’s why you don’t care about your sister. If you keep acting like that you’ll end up just like your father.”

“I never said that I don’t care about Aoi, I just don’t see why you think she’s doing bad in school. She does average, I do average, there’s nothing wrong with being average.”

“You don’t have any ambition. How do you expect to marry a good woman and get a good job if you only settle for average.” Keiko noticed Rintarou was still wearing his volleyball tracksuit and blew smoke in his direction.

“Stop it mom. I have practice tomorrow. Everyone will think I smoke if I walk into practice smelling like cigarettes.” Rintarou tried to let everything roll off his back. He knew Keiko was just trying to get a rise out of him.

“Take a break from practice, you go almost everyday. I just got home and have tomorrow off.” Keiko pulled her microwave dinner out and sat at the kitchen table. “You never want to spend time with your family. Why don’t you like me anymore Rintarou?”

“I never said that I don’t like you. I have responsibilities as a starter on the volleyball team.”

“Now you’re talking about responsibilities? Where was this talk when we were discussing your sister’s grades?” Keiko snubbed out her cigarette in the dish on the table. “See what volleyball’s doing to you? You only care about yourself.”

Rintarou set his glass in the sink and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket. Keiko huffed when Rintarou didn’t answer her.

“Where did this bad attitude come from? I definitely didn’t teach you that.”

“I’m going to bed, night.” Rintarou slammed his door closed and collapsed on his bed.

The silence was disrupted by his phone buzzing. Rintarou pulled it out of his pocket and was surprised to see that Osamu had texted him asking if he wanted to go to an onigiri place that weekend. He never got to text his reply because Aoi came bursting through the door like she owned the place.

"Did mom say something? You seem grumpier than usual."

“Geez Aoi, you can’t just come in here.” Rintarou relaxed a little. Aoi always knew when and how to distract him from his inner thoughts.

“You come into my room all the time without asking.” Aoi sat in his rolling chair and spun around looking bored.

“That’s because I’m your older brother. It’s my job to make sure that you don’t have any secret boyfriends.” He teased her.

Aoi rolled across the floor and snatched Rintarou’s phone while his guard was down.

“Secret boyfriends huh?” She quickly read through his latest texts with Osamu while fighting off her pissed off brother. “You’re always such a hypocrite."

"We're not dating or anything. We're teammates." Aoi scoffed and tossed the phone to Rintarou.

"Keep telling yourself that, Rin-kun."

"Eww, never call me that again."

Things were quiet between the two of them.

"Wanna play smash?"

"Sure."

* * *

“Suna, it's nice to see ya again." Rintarou sat stiffly in the student counseling office. “How are ya doing?”

“I’m doing fine.” He didn’t like awkward conversations on the best of days and the whole idea of career counseling reminded him far too much of Keiko shoving her judgement down his throat.

“Ya seem a little impatient so I’ll cut to the chase.” Yuuko Tama knew her kids well and out of all her students, Suna was probably one of the more difficult ones. Not to say that he was a delinquent, he was in fact a wonderful student, Suna just seemed somewhat unmotivated. "Yer gonna be entering the third year soon and I thought it was a good time to bring up higher education or a possible career. Do ya have anything in mind?”

“Not really.” Rintarou’s voice was slightly hollow and quite frankly he sounded bored, but after years of experience with all types of students she could tell when they were lying.

“I’ve spoken with quite a few of yer peers in the volleyball club, many of ‘em have gone pro or plan on going pro. With Inarizaki’s reputation it wouldn’t be hard to slip your name to the scouts, they probably already have ya in their scope.” Yuuko decided not to push him any further. The look of discomfort on Rintarou’s face was obvious, besides they had the remaining semester and the rest of the upcoming year to talk about the future. “Why don’t ya take these for now. We can discuss other options next time if ya like.”

Yuuko placed a few informational brochures in front of him and Rintarou quietly tucked them away with a neutral expression.

“Thank you.” Rintarou bowed respectfully to the staff member and made his exit, barely catching her request to send in the next student. Career counseling wasn’t all that bad, Yuuko seemed to actually care about his apparent interests. Rintarou was just worried how his mother would react.


	3. A Side Character’s Romance

Practice had been more hellish than usual, what with the twins hardly speaking to each other. The tension was thicker than the stack of cash that funded Keiko’s smoking addiction. Not even Aran felt like interfering with the twins’ temperamental moods, and he knew them the longest out of anyone at Inarizaki.

Rintarou didn’t feel like meddling either, but was inserted into the equation anyway when Osamu spent the next few days using him as an excuse to not speak with Atsumu.

“Ya never got back to me about goin for lunch this weekend.” Osamu blurted out during the cool down.

“I kinda assumed it was off since…” Rintarou trailed off and glanced at Atsumu who was seated across the gym stretching out his hamstrings.

“Just cause Atsumu’s a scrub, doesn’t mean we gotta derail everything.” Atsumu’s distant glare intensified and Rintarou felt chills creep up his back. “Aran or Kita’ll join us. It’ll be great.”

“Do not rope me into this thing between you and yer brother.” Aran felt a headache coming on. The stress of volleyball he could handle, but the twins and their vicious rivalry? That was something entirely different and he wanted nothing to do with it.

“I won’t be able to come either,” Kita said with a weary smile on his face. “Since I decided to take over my uncle’s rice farm, I spend the weekends helpin' him out.”

“Then I guess it’s just me and you, Sunarin.” Osamu had a strange grin on his face and Rintarou couldn’t tell which was creepier, Osamu’s smile or Atsumu’s glare.

“Who gave you permission to call me that?”

“Don’t be such a stuck up bastard, Suna. I don’t bite.” Osamu leaned closer in a way that reminded him of pouty Atsumu. Frankly it was disturbing.

Part of him wanted to decline again, but that would mean spending more time at home. He didn’t feel like letting his mother tear down his ego at the moment so... an awkward lunch with Osamu it was.

“Alright,” Rintarou conceded without much of a fight. “As long as I don’t have to pay for you then I’ll come.”

“Good to hear,” Osamu’s expression was a strange mixture of pleased and pissed off so Rintarou couldn’t help but feel conflicted. “I’ll see ya tomorrow at one near the onigiri place by the mall.”

Osamu didn’t even wait for an answer and got up to go change. Things certainly got strange when the Miya twins fought, it almost felt like they switched personalities.

* * *

It felt nice to go out on his own. Osamu usually spent most of his time with Atsumu so it felt somewhat freeing to be apart from him.

Rintarou was running a bit late so Osamu decided to go inside and take a table. He was half way through looking at the menu when Rintarou came in and spotted Osamu in the corner of the small restaurant. 

He waved sheepishly and felt a little underdressed compared to Suna's black skinny jeans and heavy fleece lined jean jacket.

"Sorry for being late, you know how siblings are." Rintarou took off his jacket revealing the burgundy v-neck shirt he was wearing underneath. Osamu felt a strange mixture of attraction and jealousy.

"You have siblings?" Osamu asked and took a sip of water while Rintarou sat down.

"I have a younger sister, she can be a pain in the ass sometimes." 

"I know what ya mean." Osamu thought of his own brother for a moment.

"Have things between you and Atsumu gotten any better?"

Osamu’s lips pursed into a thin line. He wished Suna wouldn't ruin his momentary peace by talking about his brother.

"I take it you two are still being idiots about it." Osamu huffed and spotted the smirk on Suna's face.

"It's not my fault he can't accept it when things don't go his way." Osamu paused and put his menu down. "And it's my life not his, he can't expect me to follow him around like a lost puppy."

"I know it's not your fault, but you guys have to make up some point in time. Not for your sake but for everyone else too. Do you know how painful the last week has been? The two of you were at each other's throats."

Osamu contemplated for a moment as the server stopped at their table. Suna had never talked to him this much before, and he never knew his classmate was so observant off the court.

They both ordered, Osamu probably ordered a little too much, but he wanted to try as many things as he could. After the server left, things grew awkwardly quiet.

Osamu twiddled his thumbs and looked everywhere but Rintarou’s eyes.

"I guess yer right. I'll try to fix things with him." Osamu said quietly.

"Good, I'm tired of playing the part of Aran the peacemaker."

"Ha," Osamu snorted out a laugh. "ya kinda did sound like Aran for a moment."

"Unfortunately I've been dragged into a position of responsibility." Rintarou shrugged his shoulders.

“Well erm- it’s a good look on you.”

“Responsibility?”

“No- er, yes?” Osamu stumbled over his words and felt like an idiot. “I’m trying to say ya look good- just take a compliment.”

“Uh, thanks.” 

Thankfully the server came and distracted them from their painfully embarrassing conversation.

The food was good and conversation came a little easier as the meal progressed. Osamu definitely ate too much and they had a few good laughs. It felt like a good date… a good date… oh god it felt like a date! They even split the check and walked out of the restaurant satisfied.

“That was good. A place like that makes me wanna open an onigiri shop.”

“You should, it makes you happy and you’re pretty good at making food.” Osamu looked over at Rintarou which was a mistake, because his cheeks were tinted pink from the abnormally cold weather and he had a faint smile on his lips. Osamu couldn’t help but stare.

“We should do this again.” Osamu tore his eyes away and looked at the sidewalk.

“Yeah, I don’t go out very much. This was fun.”

Osamu stuffed his hands in his pockets, willing away the want to hold Suna’s hand and feel his calloused fingers. They went their separate ways and walked home on a cold February day.

* * *

Rintarou felt good, he hadn’t felt this good in a while. It was strangely nice to spend time with Osamu. It made him realize how independent the Miya twins actually were from each other. He felt vaguely guilty for merely thinking of them as “the twins” for so long.

He rounded the corner of the street and frowned when he saw his father's car tucked in the driveway. His parents really did come home at the worst times.

Rintarou left his shoes at the entrance and cautiously walked inside. There wasn’t any screaming or yelling so that was a good sign. His father wasn’t in sight so that was another positive sign. Keiko was in the kitchen apparently cooking a meal.

“Is everything alright, mom?” Rintarou asked.

“Your father came home this afternoon.” Her back was turned to him so he couldn’t gage her expression.

“Yeah, I can see that. His car was in the driveway.”

“Where were you?” Keiko turned around to face him. She was furious.

“I was hanging out with a friend. I told you I was going out this weekend.”

“Aoi and your father got into a fight.” She raised her voice and sneered at him. “Aoi locked herself in her room, and your father is black out drunk in the office.”

“Calm down a little. They fight a lot- he fights a lot.”

“Calm down!? You know how he is!” Keiko grabbed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. “If you were here they wouldn’t have fought!”

“You’re blaming me now!?” Rintarou’s emotions were bubbling to the surface. He knew Keiko was just traumatized, they all were, but he couldn’t help but lash back. “If I was here nothing would’ve changed! Dad would still be drunk, and he would still hate us!”

“I’m going for a smoke.” Keiko put on a jacket and stepped outside to feed her addiction.

Rintarou stomped up the stairs to his room, his pleasant afternoon with Osamu forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suna's father is an asshole


	4. What a Piece of Shit

The morning after his father came home, all hell broke loose in the Suna family home.

When Rintarou woke up Aoi still hadn't come out of her room and he was starting to get worried. He trudged down the stairs, weary of his family members, especially his mother after having pissed her off the day before.

Keiko was sitting in the dining room bags under her eyes and mascara running down her face. She had a cup of coffee in her hand and was absently staring out the window.

Rintarou didn’t say anything when he walked into the kitchen. He already knew what had happened and felt slightly bad for going off on her the previous day. He usually masked his feelings well behind a visage of aloofness and neutrality, but when it came to his mother, he lost control. Rintarou guessed he was similar to his father in that way and he hated himself for it.   
  


“Do you want me to make breakfast for you?” He had uncharacteristically broken the silence. Rintarou wasn’t one to jump at the opportunity to converse with his mother of all people, but he’d rather have her screaming at him than sitting quietly covered in bruises.

“Make breakfast?” She said bitterly. “Of all things, making breakfast is the least you could do.”

Things were quiet again and Keiko lit a cigarette. Rintarou didn’t stop her. He never stopped her on days like this.

“Do you want an omelette with rice or some soup?” He asked, his face expressionless. She didn’t answer him and Rintarou feared she was crying, he couldn’t deal with her if she cried.

“You sound just like him Rintarou. Act like him too.” Keiko took a drag of her cigarette and exhaled a dreary cloud of smoke. “Angry one night, and unconcerned the next… I hate that expressionless face of yours.”

“You alright mom?” She was starting to sound a little more hysterical than usual.

“I’m not alright!” Rintarou turned and ducked as Keiko threw the ashtray at him. “I hate you! You’re the worst son a mother could ever ask for! You’re so self absorbed and all you do is play on your phone and screw around with volleyball! You’re a piece of shit, just like your father!”

Keiko dissolved into tears and Rintarou tried not to take it personally. She was always like this after that bastard beat her. Rintarou stepped over the mess of ceramic shards and ashes and helped Keiko up the stairs to the empty master bedroom. She clung to his shirt and sobbed.

“I didn’t mean it, Rin. I didn’t mean it.” Keiko was obviously sleep deprived and likely intoxicated as well. It was better for her to get some sleep than eat a breakfast she obviously didn’t want. Rintarou went back downstairs to clean up the mess before his father could see it and flip out.

After cleaning up the mess and making enough food for himself and Aoi, Rintarou knocked on his sister’s door and waited for her to open it.

“Is mom alright?” Aoi opened the door and let Rintarou in.

“Not really.” He handed her a plate of food and sat down on the floor. “Did you hear all the shit that just happened?”

Aoi nodded as she ate at an unhealthy pace. Sometimes Aoi locked herself in her room and refused to eat. Rintarou hated how fucked up that was, he hated how fucked up his whole family was. 

Monday seemed like lightyears away, it couldn’t come any sooner. Monday meant school, it meant distractions and friends and volleyball. It meant peace, and Rintarou was sure Aoi felt the same way.

* * *

Osamu noticed Suna had been quieter than usual on monday morning. He seemed like the polar opposite of the confident charming Sunarin he had lunch with the previous weekend. Osamu tried to ignore it, afterall people did have their ups and downs. Maybe he just needed some space.

So Osamu went about the rest of his day and worked up the rage to tackle Atsumu, challenge him to the competition of a lifetime, and resolve their week long fight. 

Once they had duked it out on the gymnasium floor he got up and spotted Suna working on his receives against the wall. That was odd, in the few years Osamu knew him, Suna was never one to work excessively after practice. Something had to be wrong.

“Everythin’ alright?” Osamu asked as he walked up to Suna while munching on a protein bar.

“Yeah, everything’s great.” Rintarou didn’t even spare him a glance.

“That’s a lie if I ever heard one.” Suna let the ball drop and sat against the wall. Osamu joined him.

“I see you’ve made up with your brother.” Rintarou frowned as he inspected the bruises and scuffs on Osamu's skin.

“Ya bet I did.” Osamu declared triumphantly. “Got em right in the jawbone too.”

Suna gave him a forced smile and Osamu frowned.

“What’s been botherin’ ya? I can tell somethin’s wrong.”

“I don’t really feel like talking about it.” Suna had an angry look on his face, but it dissipated as soon as he noticed Osamu staring.

“That's alright, you don’t need to if ya don’t want to, but I’ll be here for ya all the same.” Osamu wanted to hold Rintarou’s hand or give him a hug, anything to comfort him. He’d never seen the aloof middle blocker so emotional or angry before. It didn’t sit right with him.

Suna gave him a small but genuine smile.

“Thanks.”

They were the last two in the gym and Atsumu was just leaving the locker room when they walked in.

“Want me to wait for you?” Atsumu asked and dried his bleached hair with a towel.

“Nah, you should go ahead. I might take a while.” Osamu trailed after Suna deeper into the locker room and Atsumu gave the two of them a suspicious look.

Osamu set his bag down on the bench and stripped off his shirt. Rintarou did the same and they caught each others’ eyes awkwardly.

“I wanted to say thanks for comin’ with me to lunch on Saturday. I was bein’ real immature about my brother and you really helped me out.” Osamu stripped down his shorts and quickly put on a t-shirt, feeling exposed in Suna’s presence. “Yer just- a really amazing person and I didn’t even realize it till just now.”

“I’m really not.” Rintarou was quiet, but Osamu had heard him loud and clear.

“Course you are. I don’t hand out praise readily. Otherwise Atsumu’s head would be twice the size it is now.” He joked, but Suna wasn’t laughing. “Ya serious? You don’t think yer a good person?”

Rintarou didn’t answer. Osamu felt a strange wave of confidence, maybe he was feeling Atsumu’s absurd ego through their twin telepathy, but he honestly didn’t know what gave him the confidence.

Osamu grabbed Rintarou by the shirt, turned him around and pulled the slightly taller boy down to smash their lips together. Osamu felt his lip split open again, but he didn’t care, Rintarou wasn’t pulling away and that’s what mattered. He broke the kiss and looked Suna in the eyes.

“I think yer a fucking awesome person!” Osamu's eyes glittered and Rintarou felt warm inside. He wasn’t expecting something like that from Osamu of all people, but it wasn’t unwelcomed either. “Yer a good guy, a great teammate, a- and a great fucking kisser-”

Osamu stuttered a little but pushed on since he was balls deep already.

“I like you Suna.” Rintarou forgot about his parents and his homelife for a brief moment and pulled Osamu in for another kiss.

“Just call me Rintarou.” 

“Suna-” Osamu was cut off by Rintarou pushing him up against the lockers like they were in some kind of erotic novel.

“I said call me Rintarou, damnit!” They met in the middle for a desperate kiss. It was hot and sour and lovely all at the same time. Rintarou savored the taste of Osamu’s mouth even though it was coated in a thin layer of copper.

He liked Osamu and Osamu liked him, and that’s all that mattered at the moment.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Classes start for me tomorrow so if I miss an update or two that's why.


	5. Crushing Expectations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: HOMOPHOBIC SLURS ARE USED IN THIS CHAPTER

Things had slowed down since Osamu had kissed him. Rintarou still wasn't quite sure of their relationship though. They would kiss sometimes after practice and they spent more time together but it was nothing like the shoujo series Aoi watched and thank god it wasn't like his parents' marriage either. He didn’t know what he wanted in a relationship.

"Hey, whatcha thinking about?" Osamu asked, his legs hanging off the edge of the bed.

"Nothing much, I just have a family reunion to go to this weekend. I'm not looking forward to it."

"I don’t like family reunions either. Things get weird since twins run in the family and everything." Osamu sat up and patted a spot next to him. "Come up here. There's room for the both of us."

"The floor is fine." Rintarou said passively and scrolled on his phone.

“But don’t ya want to spend more time with me?”

“We spend a lot of time together.” Rintarou said it because it was true. They spent plenty of time together, and he enjoyed it. “Besides, you’re starting to sound like Atsumu when he complains about Sakusa.”

Osamu gave him the stink eye, rolled off the bed, and sat against the frame with his legs tucked close.

“It’s common sense that we spend a lot of time together. We’re a couple, right?”

Rintarou’s mouth went dry.

“A couple, like boyfriends?” Rintarou didn’t know where this panic had come from. He didn’t have a problem with Osamu, he liked him, he even kissed him. So why was Rintarou so caught up on the idea of a solid relationship? Why was it terrifying?

“Yeah…” Osamu’s face dropped. “Yer not ready for something like that yet, are ya?”

He stared at Osamu. Rintarou wasn’t stupid, he knew Osamu wanted a relationship, but did he want one? Luckily Osamu was always one step ahead of him.

“You don’t have to say anything if ya don’t want to. We can move at any pace ya want.” Osamu looked a bit disappointed, but he was accepting all the same. Rintarou really didn’t deserve him. “I’ll be waitin’ for you whenever you’re ready to decide.”

“Thanks.”

* * *

Rintarou hated family events. Everyone with the surname Suna gathered from far and wide to share petty gossip and compare their children. It was insufferable to the greatest degree, especially since they had to go all the way to Tokyo.

Family gatherings also happened to be the only time where their little family pretended to be put together and professional. Their little act fooled no one. Rintarou always hated the pity filled gazes of his distant relatives and learned to loathe the way his grandmother always gave him and Aoi more money than their cousins. Everyone always felt sorry but never lifted a hand to help.

“Calm down, you look scarier than usual Rintarou.” Aoi jabbed him in the side with her elbow. “You’re already freakishly tall compared to everyone here. Don’t give them another reason to compare you to dad.”

Rintarou had to concentrate on relaxing his eyebrows and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“I just want this to be over already.” Keiko sent them to sit down at one of the long tables at the back of the restaurant while she and Hiroshi greeted the other adults. The only saving grace of the family reunion was that they didn’t have to be next to their parents the entire time.

“You can say that again. If one more person squeezes my shoulder in sympathy, I’m going to bite off their fingers.” Aoi said with a scowl.

“And you said I looked scary.” Aoi elbowed Rintarou again.

“Let’s just focus on surviving tonight instead of poking jabs at each other.” Aoi said as a distant cousin slid into the spot next to her. Rintarou frowned and wondered when she had become so mature.

Things were running smoothly. He mustered up the social skills to talk with cousins he didn’t really care about and smile at elderly relatives that didn’t have much longer to live. His aunt Yoko came by with a stale smile on her face and Rintarou wished he could pass out and not have to live through the next few hours.

“Your mother has been talking our ears off about your success at Inarizaki.” The smile was polite but the pleasantries didn’t reach her eyes. “Why didn’t you say anything about volleyball last year? You know how much Kenta likes volleyball.”

Kenta was his first cousin on his father’s side and he was a little shit. Yoko was much better off than Hiroshi and Kenta had the pleasure of being indulged in whatever he pleased, he also happened to be in middle school but that was beside the point.

“Last year was my first year in high school and I didn’t want to brag. Like you said last year, ‘Humbleness is a virtue’.” Rintarou half smiled.

“Kenta’s going to nationals himself, you know.” Yoko sneered. “His middle school was ranked number one in the nation. The same can’t be said for Inarizaki. You’re still second to Itachiyama, aren’t you? You'll probably end up like Hiroshi.”

Rintarou fought the urge to bite back with a quip of his own. The Suna family genes really were shit weren’t they?

“Rintarou! Aoi!” Both siblings drew their attention to Keiko who now had Hiroshi hanging off her, already drunk. Her cheeks were red from embarrassment and he could tell she was pissed off. “We’re going.”

Both Suna siblings stood there stupidly for a moment.

“Now!” Keiko yelled on the verge of tears. Rintarou and Aoi followed their parents out of the busy restaurant as quickly as possible to avoid any more family shame.

They didn’t even stay for dessert, but Rintarou bet they would be the topic of gossip until the next year.

* * *

Rintarou had gotten a fairly good understanding of what happened between his parents on the ride home. The snippets from their outraged argument told him that Keiko was trying to get into the good graces of their family while Hiroshi had gotten drunk within the first hour. There wasn’t much to it so he let Aoi fall asleep on his shoulder while they were trapped in the car.

Sleeping was impossible for Rintarou so he settled for scrolling through twitter and even put in headphones to drown out his father’s drunken ramblings.

After they made it back to Hyogo, Rintarou and Keiko dragged Hiroshi to his office while Aoi went to bed. It had been a short visit, but not any less eventful.

The only ones left awake were him and Keiko making for a strangling atmosphere.

"I heard from Aunt Yoko that you were talking about my club activities." Rintarou said, breaking the silence. Keiko straightened out her blouse that had alcohol stains on it from lugging Hiroshi home.

"Is it wrong for a mother to be proud of her son?" She feigned innocence of her little ego boost. She always bragged about his volleyball career when she tried to make herself look like a better mother than she actually was.

"No, it’s just you usually harp on me for volleyball." Rintarou was feeling a little more brazen than usual. Maybe it was the lingering feeling of snapping at Aunt Yoko that made him more aggressive.

"I don’t harp, Rin. I'm just concerned about your future." Keiko pulled out a pack of cigarettes and Rintarou snatched them from her.

“If you’re worried about me, then you should start taking care of yourself first.”

“Give them back Rintarou.” They stared at each other in silence before Rintarou handed them back to her.

“Those things give you cancer.”

“Hopefully they’ll kill me faster than your father can.” She lit one and walked outside. Something compelled him to follow her, just to make sure she didn’t try to kill herself.

It was cold enough Rintarou could see his breath and a full moon hung in the night sky. They sat down on the edge of the porch. Rintarou wished he was sitting next to Osamu rather than his mother.

"Rintarou?"

"Yeah mom?"

"Marry a good girl for me."

"What?" He looked at her incredulously.

"Treat her well. Never break her heart and have good kids. Please Rin, live a good honest life for me." Tears welled in her eyes and she grabbed him by the hem of his jacket.

Usually he would feel sorry for her, act the part of a good son and comfort her, but there was an angry fire in him that wouldn’t go out.

"What makes you think I'll marry a woman." His words came out a little too harsh, but he was tired of her stringing him along with her wild emotions.

"Don't start this with me Rin. I'm not in the mood today." She took a heavy drag and laughed bitterly, the smoke poured out of her mouth.

"It's not some kind of joke mom."

"A joke? Of course it's not a joke!” The humor in her voice was gone, she turned sharp, she felt manic. “I know it's not funny because you can't take a husband and be happy."

"That’s your experience, not mine." Keiko looked her son up and down like he was a stranger.

"What are you saying? Are you some kind of faggot?" He felt like punching her, but held back because that would make him just like his father, and he refused to play into the roles set out for him.

"No." His voice was low and full of anger.

"Then what are you?"

"I'm bi, mom!” Once he said it he regretted it more than anything, but there was no stopping what was already unraveling. “I know myself and unlike you I'm not going to settle into some arranged marriage and pretend to be happy!"

"You’re a freak." She spat her cigarette at his feet and turned towards the house.

"And you’re just a sad old woman living through her children." She stopped in her tracks. Rintarou opened his mouth to say something, but Keiko slapped him so hard it left a red palm on his pale cheek.

“Shut the fuck up.” Keiko fisted Rintarou’s jacket and used a strength he didn’t know she possessed to drag him inside. “Don’t you dare tell your father about this. We’ll talk about it later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, this took a long time to write.


	6. Growing Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer than it should be.

How have ya been Suna?” Yuuko noticed the second year had been declining recently. His grades were slipping a bit and other faculty members noticed he was more closed off than usual. She suspected something was going on in his home life. Unfortunately there was nothing she could do unless solid evidence was presented.

“I’ve been fine.”

“Have ya started thinking about any potential careers?” Yuuko was pleasantly surprised when he nodded.

“I’ve decided I want to go pro with volleyball.” He sounded just as bored as ever, but at least they were getting somewhere.

“That sounds great! I’m glad yer choosing to use the school’s reputation and resources. I already have a few scouts that are comin’ by at the end of the year.” Yuuko paused. “Did you discuss this with yer parents?”

Suna was silent proving her assumptions of a strained familial relationship.

“If there’s anything ya need to talk about, you can tell me. I’m trained in therapy, and I’m contractually obliged to be confidential.”

“Oh.” Was all he said and Yuuko feared she had pried too hard. “I can talk it over with my parents, but they don’t support the idea.”

“Would ya like to bring them in for an appointment. We can discuss yer career path together so we’re all on the same page.” Suna looked pale.

“Can we just stick to the one-on-one career advice? I still have another year before things are set in stone.”

“Of course.” Suna got up as soon as Yuuko dismissed him and she had never seen a student run out of her office faster than Suna Rintarou did.

* * *

Suna Rintarou had a sneaking suspicion that if there was a god, that he loved fucking up people's shit because things always played out horrible for him. 

The thing is, Rintarou didn’t like projects on the best of days, but group projects… he absolutely detested them. Not to mention he had the "luck" of being paired with Osamu. He couldn’t decide if it was a blessing or a curse.

They made eye contact from across the classroom as their names were paired together for the English project. Osamu grinned at him and Rintarou returned it with an awkward half smile.

They were dismissed and Osamu caught up to Rintarou on their way to practice.

"Got a plan for the English assignment?"

"Not really."

"Well since we're paired together, we should start comin up with somethin fast and get it outta the way." Osamu pulled out a snack and took a few bites as they traversed the halls of Inarizaki.

"We're supposed to make a travel pamphlet in English, right?" Rintarou asked cause if he was frank he didn't pay that much tension to the teacher.

"Yeah, kinda feels like busy work, don't it?" 

"Yea." Rintarou didn’t feel so unlucky anymore.

They made it to the locker room and Osamu shoved his bag in his locker. Rintarou paced his bag on the top and took off his blazer. Thankfully conversation came smoothly with Osamu, if it was anyone else he'd probably be cold and unresponsive.

"Where should we meet up to work on it? I'm pretty sure we can knock it out in one go."

"Your house?" Rintarou asked and tugged his shorts and knee pads up his legs.

"I would," Osamu looked guilty and pulled his gym shirt over his head. "But Atsumu’s got a few friends comin over today and I don’t think ya wanna hang around that type of crowd."

"You’re probably right. Why don’t we stay in the club room or something?" Rintarou bent over to lace up his shoes while Osamu finished getting dressed.

"Kita still has the keys, go ahead and ask him if ya have the balls."

"Okay then, we can finish it in one night so we can go to my house." Rintarou didn’t want to bring Osamu over but it would probably be fine if they could finish it before Keiko got home.

"Really?" Osamu looked a little worried and Rintarou kinda hated that Osamu could read him so well. "We can always do it tomorrow or next week."

"No, I have stuff to do on the weekend and I want to get it over with." Rintarou gave him a reassuring look. "Besides my sister thinks you're cool and she kinda wants to meet you."

"Aww, yer sister sounds sweeter than you." Rintarou gave Osamu a glare and the silver haired spiker slapped him on the back. "Kidding, ya jealous bastard."

"I'm not jealous."

"Ya forget Sunarin, I have a twin. I know what jealousy looks like."

Rintarou rolled his eyes and felt good for the first time in weeks. Practice continued like it always did.

* * *

Osamu had never been to Suna's house so it was only natural to be curious. From little bits and pieces he'd heard over time, the Suna's weren't exactly a happy family, but he never dug too deep into rumours.

After practice Rintarou took the lead and walked home with Osamu right next to him. They walked in silence and Osamu had a feeling that Rintarou didn’t exactly want to go home. Before he knew it they reached the Suna family home and had Rintarou inviting him in.

"It's a bit homier than I expected." Osamu said and tried to ignore the faint smell of smoke on the textiles.

"My mom's a secretary for some big corporation and my dad's a construction worker. They don't have a bad salary combined but it's not great either." Rintarou bit his tongue. He didn’t have to justify his parents' home choices.

"Okay." Osamu took off his shoes and tucked them next to Rintarou’s. Sunarin was acting a bit strange if you asked him.

Footsteps thudded down the stairs and a young girl with sharp features wearing a middle school uniform appeared at the stairwell. She inspected Osamu with the same look Rintarou used on the court and he held back a laugh.

"It's about time you brought him over."

"Shut the hell up, Aoi. It's for a school project."

"Yeah…" Aoi trailed off and introduced herself with a grin. "I'm Suna Aoi, you must be Osamu. Rin talks about you ALL the time."

"Yeah it's Miya Osamu." He decided right then and there that he liked Aoi.

"Well we’re teammates and classmates… and really good friends. Besides, I don’t talk about you all the time." A small blush rose in Rintarou’s face and Osamu really wanted to kiss his rosy cheeks. A cute Rintarou was a rare Rintarou.

"Anyway," Rintarou interrupted himself and led Osamu up the stairs. "We should start working on the project."

"Alright, whatever ya say." Osamu smiled a little as they sat on Rintarou’s bed and got to work.

The hours ticked away, Rintarou forgot about his plan to finish the project before Keiko returned. He just got so absorbed in the work, not that it was interesting, but the proximity to Osamu made him feel better. A brush of hands here or there, the occasional soft smile that Osamu seemed to reserve for him, it made Rintarou feel like the center of attention.

“Ya alright Rintarou? Ya seem a little tired.” Osamu placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. Rintarou enjoyed the soft touch, it was warm and loving rather than desperate and enraged like his mother’s grip. 

He felt guilty and pulled away. What was wrong with him? Rintarou had just told Osamu he didn’t want a relationship, yet he still wanted Osamu to comfort and kiss him like a lover.

“I can go home. It is getting late, Tsumu’s already texted me way too much. Our parents are gone for a few days and he can’t stand being alone once all his friends leave.” Osamu scrolled through his messages and mumbled. “Needy bastard. What’s he gonna do once he moves out?”

“You can leave if you want. We pretty much finished the project.” Rintarou droned, his eyes transfixed on the floor. What type of boyfriend would he be if he couldn’t even tell Osamu how he felt? Why did Osamu even want an emotionally stagnant piece of garbage like him. He was just a damaged kid from a piece of shit family.

“-tarou!”

Rintarou pulled himself back to reality. Osamu tapped his shoulder and looked concerned.

“We haven’t even eaten. Why don’t I make somethin’ for ya to eat before I go.”

“What? You really don’t have to do that. Don’t you have to get back to Atsumu before he gets attachment issues?” Rintarou argued. Osamu laughed and sat back down.

“Atsumu already has attachment issues. He has to get over them if plans on going pro and becoming the best setter in Japan.” Osamu grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the room. "Besides, I wouldn't do it unless I wanted to."

"Okay." Rintarou led Osamu to the kitchen and watched as he dug through the fridge and pantry.

"How's a stir fry sound?"

"Sounds good." Rintarou said glumly.

"Ya don’t sound convinced." Osamu pulled out a pan. "Come over here and help me chop this up."

Rintarou picked up the knife and was immediately stopped by Osamu who had grabbed the sharp object from him.

“If ya hold it like that you’ll chop yer fingers off.” Osamu wrapped Rintarou’s hand around the handle in the correct position and guided his hands into the proper position. It felt far too intimate to be purely instructional.

“You didn’t tell me you were having a friend over.” Keiko’s passive tone made Rintarou whip around and distance himself from Osamu. When the hell did she get here?

“Mom… you’re back early.” Rintarou placed the knife back on the counter, Osamu gave him a strange look.

“Actually, I’m home later than usual.” She looked Osamu up and down before openly scoffing. “I don’t remember allowing you to have friends over.”

“We had a group project to work on.” Osamu blurted out. Keiko gave him a dirty look.

“It doesn’t look like you two are working on a school project right now.”

“We’re taking a break.” Rintarou said in his default tone. Keiko was in a bad mood, she seemed to be in a bad mood more often these days.

“A break? Do you know what time it is?” Keiko didn’t give them the time to answer. “It’s eleven thirty.”

Keiko dumped her bag on the table and pulled out a cigarette.

“What could you be doing at eleven at night?” She saw the flush in their faces. “Were you two… fucking?” She sneered at the thought. Rintarou wanted to collapse in on himself and hide forever.

“I was-” Osamu opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Keiko.

“Just go home.” Keiko suddenly sounded fatigued and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Osamu’s telling the truth. We were working on a school project.”

“I’m not even mad anymore.” Keiko sat down and took a drag. “I just can’t deal with your shit today Rintarou.”

Rintarou couldn’t meet Osamu’s questioning gaze and started putting things away.

“I’ll give the two of you some space to talk, but I want you gone by the time I come back.” Keiko pointed at Osamu and stepped outside to finish the rest of her cigarette.

“You should go home Osamu.”

“Ya sure?”

“Yeah, things usually end easier if things go her way.” Rintarou gave Osamu a small smile. “I didn’t even want the two of you to meet, but at least she didn’t explode.”

Before long Osamu was packed up and pushed out the front door of the Suna household.

“Sorry I’m kicking you out like this.”

“Nah, it’s alright. Yer mom seemed a bit peeved.” Rintarou averted his gaze again.

“She’s usually like that.”

Osamu grabbed Rintarou’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“If you ever wanna crash at my house ya can. Or if ya just wanna get away from all this.” Osamu gestured to his house. “Yer always welcome, and we won’t have to spend time at your house if ya don’t wanna.”

“Thanks.” Rintarou was appreciative, but all of his good feelings had been squashed down deep in his stomach.

“I’ll see ya on monday.” Osamu left and Rintarou went to bed wishing he had stayed.

  
  



	7. He's Unnatural

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: parental abuse and homophobic slurs are used in this chapter
> 
> UPDATE: 01/31/21  
> I'm not dead, but I wish I was. I've decided to rework/update this chapter instead of posting a new one. Because of the strain of my current classes I will be changing my updates to every Saturday instead of trying to update every other day. Thank you for reading!

The ball ricocheted off Rintarou’s hand and slammed down on the other side of the court. Another success, another perfectly tooled block. Moments like these were why he enjoyed volleyball, even if it was only practice. The sting in his palm and fingers from spiking and blocking was comforting and consistent.

Atsumu slapped him on the back for the good play and Rintarou leveled a bored glare at the rowdier twin.

“Dependable as always, Sunarin.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“But Samu calls ya that all the time~” Atsumu knew the tension between his brother and Rintarou, he reveled in the surplus of blackmail material.

“You can’t say anything, Atsumu. Haven’t you and _Omi-kun_ gotten closer recently?” They took a water break and Rintarou smirked when Atsumu’s face flushed with embarrassment. It was almost too easy to get a rise out of the empty headed setter.

“Well yer smarmy ass seems to be back to normal.”

“You could tell I was acting differently?” Rintarou raised an eyebrow. “Who would’ve thought the great and mighty Atsumu would be observant enough to care about me.”

“Shut yer ass up!” Atsumu tried to kick Rintarou in the shins but the middle blocker was just a hair faster and dodged. “And it wasn’t me who noticed. It was Osamu. He wouldn’t stop worrin’ bout ya. So I’m glad things are back to normal.”

Coach Kurosu blew the whistle and practice resumed. Rintarou didn’t get a chance to think about the implications of Atsumu’s words and practice continued like it always did.

* * *

“I’m home.” Rintarou greeted an empty house. He squinted at the calendar remembering that Aoi was on a field trip with her class and would be gone for the next few days. A quick glance to the entryway told him he wasn't really alone. His father was home too. Hiroshi was probably blackout drunk in his "office" like he always was. It seemed like he was never sober these days.

Rintarou sighed at the thought of being trapped with his parents all week and retrieved a snack from the kitchen. He took the time to bask in the quiet before the storm and finished his homework in the dining room.

Tomorrow was supposed to be the next career counseling session. Rintarou supposed that he should tell his mother about going pro if she was in a good mood. Then again, something like that could put her in a bad mood, and he didn’t have Aoi around to back him up.

Rintarou tucked his legs into a criss cross position and scrolled through his phone until he heard the front door unlock and Keiko walk in. He listened to her kick off her heels and trudge across the hardwood floors.

“Hey mom.” He read her expression and determined she was amicable today. “How was your day?”

“The same as it always is.” She cracked a can of light beer from the fridge and sat down across from him at the table. “Aoi’s on that school trip, right?”

“Yeah.” Rintarou put down his phone and looked at Keiko. “Mom?”

“Hmm?” She took a sip of her beer, but didn’t look angry yet. That was a good sign.

“I’ve been talking with the career advisor since I’m coming up on my third year…”

“Yeah, and...?”

“Well, she thinks I have a good chance of getting into professional volleyball.” Rintarou stated it simply, knowing that if he held off too long it would aggravate his mother. Keiko was quiet for a moment and Rintarou feared she would freak out.

“Have you looked into any other options? Something like college or an office job?” She was being oddly mature about it, but Rintarou wasn’t complaining.

“Not really, but I have most of next year before anything is set in stone.” Rintarou leaned back in his chair and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“You’ll have to talk to your father about this.” She said somberly.

“Why?” He felt like Keiko was dismissing his prospects for the future. “It’s not like he would care.”

“True, but you should really think about this Rintarou.” She sighed and took another swig from her beer. “How many people actually succeed in professional sports?”

“I have thought about this mom, I have the reputation of a pro athlete. Inarizaki is second in the nation as far as high school goes.” Rintarou frowned.

“But what about job stability and a family?”

“There’s never one hundred percent certainty with any job. You could get laid off at any moment.” He broke eye contact and looked at his feet. “And I never said I wanted a family. What happens if I never want to get married?”

“Don’t start this now Rintarou.” Keiko finished off her beer, grabbed another one, and went outside for a smoke. “I’m too tired to deal with this.”

She closed the sliding door and Rintarou sequestered himself in his room.

* * *

“Turn that down.” Hiroshi emerged from his den and glared at Keiko who was lying on the couch flipping through channels. “I still have a migraine.”

Keiko begrudgingly turned down the television and sat up.

“I didn’t know you were conscious enough to care.” Keiko’s cheeks were dusted with intoxication while Hiroshi was nursing a hangover. A combination like that always ended in disaster.

“You’re just being a bitch, Keiko.”

“Says the deadbeat who lost his job and became a construction worker.” She slumped back down on the other side of the couch. “Do you know how much shit I go through daily to fill your stomach with alcohol?”

“You’re just a fucking secretary! Your job isn’t hard!” Hiroshi’s hand itched.

“How would you know?” Keiko drearily stood up, an empty beer can in her hand. “You’re practically a freeloader!”

“A freeloader?” He sneered. “If I’m a freeloader then you’re a fucking boot licker. I saw the way you acted at the family reunion. I may not make the most money, but at least I don’t kiss the feet of the family heads.”

Hiroshi went to the kitchen and got a few beers for himself.

“That’s probably how you rose up the ranks so fast.” Hiroshi continued with a jealous edge in his voice as he knocked back beer after beer. “You’re a good for nothing bitch that kisses the asses of your superiors.”

Keiko held her tongue and tossed the can in the recycling.

“I really hate how you act so much better than me.” He hated the self superior glare she wore. It made his knuckles itch. “I work plenty hard and do everything I can.”

“Your best is hardly good enough.” Keiko sneered. “If it was then I wouldn’t have to work crappy shifts and bring entitled businessmen coffee with a smile on my face!”

“Shut up.”

“If you worked harder we wouldn’t be in constant fear of having to sell our house or work extra jobs!” Her voice was shrill with anger and frustration.

“Shut up, Keiko!”

“No! I won’t!” Hiroshi got too close to her comfort zone and she pushed him away. “You’re the reason I work myself to the bone! You’re the reason Aoi hates us! You’re the reason Rintarou doesn’t want to have a family!”

“Shut up you bitch! What do they have to do with this!?” Hiroshi grabbed Keiko’s wrist, bruising her pale skin.

“They hate you just as much as I do!” Angry tears slipped down Keiko’s face as she tried wrenching her arm away from him. “Aoi wants nothing to do with us and Rintarou wants to waste his life playing volleyball!”

She broke free from his grasp and stumbled backwards.

“Rintarou is fucked up because of you! He’s a fag because of you! It’s true because he brought one of the kids from his volleyball club over last week!” Keiko froze once she realized what came out of her mouth.

"Shut the hell up you cunt!" Hiroshi’s fist itched. He eased his craving when he landed a blow on Keiko’s shoulder. "Once I'm done beating the crap out of you I'll teach that bitchy son of yours a lesson too!"

Hiroshi knocked her to the ground and stepped on her ribcage. Keiko let out a cry and tore at the hem of Hiroshi’s pants.

"You bastard! I hate you!" Keiko screamed as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I hate you!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Hiroshi kicked Keiko in the stomach and she vomited cheap beer and blood.

Rintarou peaked out the door. When Keiko and Hiroshi fought it was usually made up of crying and bitter conversations, not screaming and kicking.

"Stop! You’re going to kill her!" Rintarou rushed down the stairs and stood between Keiko and his father.

"Of course a son like you would take sides with his whore of a mother."

"This isn't about sides! She was going to die!" Rintarou hissed. He tried to stay out of their fights but this was their worst one yet. He felt bad for Keiko.

"Course it is you little fag. I know you're picking her side cause she kept your dirty little secret."

Rintarou looked at his mother.

“You told him?”

“Are you stupid?!” Hiroshi landed a punch square on Rintarou’s jaw. “Of course she would! She’s a lying bitch and you’re just a stupid kid.”

Rintarou rubbed his aching jaw and took a step back. What was he thinking? By interfering with his parents he’d get beat just like his mother.

“I can’t believe you’ve been bringing your fuck buddies around my house. You’re disgusting.” Hiroshi grabbed Rintarou by the collar of his shirt and dragged him outside. “You should’ve never been born.”

“Stop Hiroshi! Don’t hurt him!” Keiko shrieked, her mascara running down her face in an inky mess. “Don’t hurt him, it’s not his fault!”

The adrenaline mixed with Keiko’s screaming flipped a switch in Rintarou’s mind and anger bubbled in his chest.

“It’s not anyone’s fault! I’m not a curse or a fag or a stupid kid.” He wrenched Hiroshi’s hand off of him and pushed his father back. “I’m a human goddammit!”

“Human?” Hiroshi scoffed. “Don’t make me laugh Rintarou. What you are is unnatural and disgusting!”

Rintarou dodged a slug from Hiroshi and threw a punch of his own.

“Don’t even try that shit, Rintarou.” Hiroshi grabbed his wrist and pushed him up against the wall with a little too much force. 

Rintarou’s head cracked against the siding of the house so hard he saw stars in the corners of his vision. Hiroshi delivered another punch to his face and he felt blood trickle from his nose.

“You, your mom, this entire family is shit!” Hiroshi wrapped his hands around Rintarou’s neck and squeezed. “Just die already!”

“You’re the one who’s really a piece shit.” Rintarou gripped out as he clawed at Hiroshi’s arms. His vision was starting to tunnel and tears gathered in his eyes. Was Hiroshi actually going to kill him?

“Shut up!”

“Stop it! Put him down Hiroshi! Put him down!” Keiko had stumbled outside and hit Hiroshi over the head with a broom handle. 

“Whore, you never stay out of it, do you!?” Hiroshi let go of Rintarou.

Rintarou gasped for air and spat out blood that had drained from his sinuses.

Keiko didn’t give Hiroshi the time to throw a punch. She screamed and hit Hiroshi over the head again and again until the handle broke.

“You bitch!” Hiroshi staggered forward, blood dripping into his eyes and grabbed Keiko in a bruising hold. Keiko dropped the splintered mess on the ground and turned into a hysterical sobbing mess. Hiroshi looked over at Rintarou and glared. “Get out of my goddamn sight before I kill you.”

Rintarou felt like his head was engulfed in a heavy fog. He swayed on his feet and couldn’t think straight. Before he knew it Rintarou found himself standing in front of the Miya family home.

  
  
  



	8. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts

Rintarou shoved his hands in his pockets to ward off the cold and ignore the hazy pain in his head. His feet dragged him down the street, past Inarizaki, and somehow Rintarou ended up right in front of the Miya home.

His heart stopped in his throat. What was he thinking? Running to Osamu after his father beat the living daylights out of him?

Maybe he wanted to be beat by his father and get a few scars. Maybe then he would understand Keiko more, it would make it easier to see the good side in his mother.

Rintarou paused at the door, the door of a normal home with a happy family. The whole thing was absurd and he almost turned around.

"Sunarin?" Rintarou didn’t even realize he was spacing out until he looked up at Osamu who had flung the door open and was standing there like an idiot.

"Huh?" Rintarou stared at him with an equally stupid look, like he didn't even know what he was there for.

"It's the middle of the night! What are ya doing here?" Osamu rushed down the stairs and took some of Rintarou’s weight on his shoulders as he helped him inside.

"Yer bleeding a hell of a lot and got a dazed look on yer face. What the hell happened!?" Osamu sat Rintarou down on the couch and grabbed a handful of tissues and an ice pack.

“My-” Rintarou coughed and swallowed air, his throat was sore from strangulation and now that the adrenaline was starting to wear off his entire body hurt.

“This was yer family… wasn’t it?” Osamu handed him a glass of water. Rintarou was thankful, but couldn’t meet Osamu’s eyes. It was always too easy for him to read Rintarou’s emotions. “Ya don’t gotta say anything right now. Just tilt yer head back.”

Rintarou did as he was instructed while Osamu held the tissues to his nose. Rintarou tried to ignore everything that had happened tge past few hours, it was all some sort of sick dream or horrible hallucination. He let his eyes drift close.

"Don't fall asleep ya moron! Ya might have a concussion." Osamu shook Rintarou’s shoulder before giving Rintarou more tissues to blot up his own blood. "I'll get my Ma, yer lucky she’s got medical experience."

"What’s this 'bout Suna and a concussion?" Atsumu walked into the room while rubbing his tired eyes. His gaze trailed from Osamu to Rintarou’s face which was starting to swell. “What the hell happened to ya!?”

Atsumu’s voice was grating on his nerves and Rintarou managed to glare at the blonde twin.

“It’s none of your business, ass-” Rintarou ground the words out of his mouth and stopped halfway through to rub the base of his swollen neck.

“It’s my business when ya show up at our door in the middle of the night.” Atsumu was always grouchy when he woke up.

“I don’t need your pity.” Rintarou tried to hide the wetness in his garbled voice and looked the other way hopping the twins didn’t see his teary eyes.

“There’s a difference between pity an’ concern, Rintarou.” Osamu’s voice was softer and his expression relaxed when he sat next to Rintarou.

“I’ll go get Ma.” Atsumu caught onto Osamu’s intentions through their twin telepathy and exited the room to give them space.

“Ya need to get anything off yer chest?”

Rintarou was silent as he tried to push down the need to cry. He leaned back on the couch and slipped the ice pack behind his head.

"I'm not gonna tell anyone." Osamu reached out his hand and intertwined it with Rintarou’s. He gave it a gentle squeeze and Rintarou returned it anxiously. "I'll always keep yer secrets and have yer back."

"I don’t deserve you." Rintarou rasped.

"It's not about deserving, ya scrub." Osamu gently wiped away the wet tracks on Rintarou’s cheek.

Rintarou pulled away, not wanting Osamu to see his tears. Rintarou didn’t cry, not for volleyball, not for love, not for pain. He was strong damnit.

"Yer allowed to be upset." Osamu brushed his thumb over Rintarou’s knuckles. "Yer allowed to cry."

For all of his level headed actions and intimidating demeanor, Rintarou couldn’t muster up any more emotional strength. Salty tears streamed down his face and mixed with dried blood. Osamu offered his shoulder and didn’t pull away when Rintarou rubbed his dirty tear stained face on his shirt.

They sat there for a while, Rintarou’s child-like sobs were the only thing in the silence. Rintarou fisted Osamu’s shirt and stifled his sobs between his clenched teeth. He relaxed and rested his head on Osamu’s shoulder.

“Thanks, I needed that.” Rintarou’s voice was still strained and watery, but the tension from his shoulders had dispersed.

“No problem Sunarin.” Osamu swallowed back his own tears.

A few minutes later the Miya matriarch walked into the living room, still dressed in her night clothes, carrying a first aid kit and some pain killers. Osamu and Rintarou separated, both boys had puffy red eyes.

“Rintarou, let me take a look at yer head.” Mrs Miya was stern but kind at the same time, so much different from his own mother. She dried his tears with a tissue and cleaned up the rest of his bloody nose. Rintarou felt like a little kid again with Mrs Miya taking care of his bruises and cuts.

“Look up for me.” She shone a light in his eyes and had him look from side to side, checking for signs of a concussion. She gave him a few painkillers that he took with the water Osamu had given him.

“It looks like ya have a mild concussion and bruising around yer throat. It doesn’t look too serious, but we’ll take ya to urgent care in the mornin’.” Mrs Miya packed away the first aid kit and washed her hands after throwing away the bloody tissues. “It looks like you’ll be stayin’ overnight so I had Atsumu set up a futon in Osamu’s room for ya.”

“Thanks.” Was all Rintarou could manage to say.

“It’s the least we could do Rintarou. Yer practically family after all.” Mrs Miya smiled sweetly at him, it reminded him of Osamu’s grin. “You two should get to bed now. It’s past one in the mornin’.”

The two boys shuffled down the hallway towards Osamu’s room. Rintarou’s head was still foggy and everything felt like a wild dream.

“You should probably change yer clothes.” Osamu handed him a shirt and a pair of shorts.

Rintarou took the clothes wordlessly and turned around to change. He just showed up at their house unannounced in the middle of the night and he ended up with a warm bed and more kindness than he deserved. Rintarou vaguely felt like he was testing the limits of fate.

“What are you doing?” Rintarou asked when Osamu slipped into the futon on the floor.

“Yer the guest, plus yer injured, I wouldn’t feel right if ya slept on the floor.”

“It’s fine, I can sleep on the floor.” Rintarou forgot how stubborn Osamu could be when he sat up to turn off the light and left Rintarou wandering around in the dark to get to the bed.

“G’night.”

“Night.”

Rintarou felt uncomfortable lying on Osamu’s bed. They were treating him like family and he didn’t know how to react. He flipped sides a couple of times and kicked the sheets around before settling in a semi comfortable position and fell asleep.

* * *

Rintarou sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. 

He padded across the hardwood floor in his socks and went to the bathroom. He scrunched his nose in disgust, it smelled like cigarettes and alcohol. Rintarou looked at the bathtub, Keiko’s lifeless body stared back at him.

“You’re a piece of shit, just like your father.” The words echoed in his brain as he turned back to the mirror and brushed his fingers against the dark bruises around his throat. Rintarou kept his face devoid of emotion, lips turned down in his usual flat frown.

“I hate that expressionless face of yours.” Rintarou picked at the calluses on his hands. He felt her dead gaze dig a hole in his back.

“You should’ve never been born.”

Rintarou turned to see Hiroshi leaning on the doorframe, his once handsome angular face deteriorated by rage and addiction. He carried a kitchen knife in his right hand.

“This entire family is shit.” His eyes were hard like stone.

“You killed her.” Rintarou’s voice was stale and rusty.

“Of course a son like you would take sides with his whore of a mother.” Hiroshi dropped the knife on the bathroom counter. Rintarou fixed his eyes on the sharp point. “Just die already.”

He reached for the knife and wrapped his fingers around the handle. If he made a quick slit on his wrist or across his throat he would die, right? That’s how it worked in horror movies. He briefly entertained the idea of jumping off a tall building. Roof diving was a popular way to die in manga and anime.

“Everyone would be happier without you.”

Rintarou jerked the blade across his wrist without thinking.

* * *

Rintarou jerked awake. His first instinct was to rub his wrists. It was a dream, a horrible unrealistic dream. Rintarou didn’t want to die.

He sat up in Osamu’s bed and groaned at the dull throbbing pain in his face and neck. He checked the time on his phone and put it away since the screen gave him a headache behind his eyes. It was four in the morning, he’d hardly been asleep for three hours. Osamu stirred from his place on the floor, he looked more sleep deprived than Rintarou did.

“Havin’ a hard time sleeping?” Rintarou didn’t respond, he didn’t need to, Osamu knew his mind was plagued. “Scoot over.”

Rintarou made room on the small bed and Osamu slipped under the covers. It was uncomfortable and Osamu elbowed him in the side before they found a good arrangement. 

They ended up facing each other, both just a little too close to be considered friendly. Osamu slung an arm around Rintarou’s waist. Truth be told, Rintarou didn’t mind the close contact with Osamu, they had kissed after all.

“Would you miss me?”

“What kinda question is that Sunarin?" Osamu’s voice was heavy. "Yer not going anywhere."

Rintarou hummed and Osamu clenched Rintarou’s shirt in his fist.

"Don't you dare think about killing yourself." Rintarou tore his eyes away from Osamu’s watery eyes. "Promise me Rin."

"Okay."

Rintarou pulled Osamu closer and they clung to each other until they fell into a dreamless sleep.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bruh, this week left me dead


	9. We Don’t Need the Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Last chapter, I tried to add in some smut but it just wasn't working and I didn’t want to ruin the sweetness of the storyline, but fear not there is a lot of kissing. Also there is a timeskip, but I tried to make it good.

A concussion, divorce papers, prison… it was almost too much to believe. Rintarou felt like everything was moving at mach speed and he just couldn’t catch up. Mrs Miya had been kind enough to take him to urgent care and drop him off at his house, but no one was expecting a full police investigation in front of the Suna family home.

Rintarou spotted Keiko talking with some officers and pushed his way through the idle investigators to get to her.

“Mom?” Rintarou looked at a ragged sleep deprived Keiko and couldn’t find anything but exhaustion in her expression. “What happened?”

“Ya must be the son, Suna Rintarou, right?” The tired looking officer eyed him up and down. Rintarou wanted to cover up the bruises around his neck.

“Yeah…” Rintarou’s raspy voice trailed off and his eyes wandered to the officer’s badge. The man sighed and nodded to one of his colleges. Keiko was silently led away from them by a kind looking detective.

“I just have a few questions fer ya.” The officer asked him about the events of the previous night, where he had gone, and how he ended up back at the scene. Rintarou offered him clipped uncomfortable answers. The man seemed to be satisfied with his answers and put a hand on his shoulder as if to comfort him in some strange way. Then it dawned on him, Hiroshi was nowhere to be seen.

“We got called over early this morning by the neighbors, and yer father was arrested for aggravated assault and attempted homicide.”

“Oh,” Was all Rintarou could say in response. He found it hard to process everything. Hiroshi was in jail.

* * *

The days following Hiroshi’s arrest were a strange blur full of legal papers and appointments with lawyers. Somewhere along the way he picked up Aoi from her field trip and relayed all of the details of Hiroshi’s arrest and Keiko’s plans to press charges and file for divorce. She took it surprisingly well and Rintarou wondered when Aoi had grown up so fast.

Three weeks passed faster than Rintarou would’ve expected and summer training camp was only a few days away. 

Rintarou was ready to get back to practice. It had been too long since he felt the burn in his muscles and the comforting wave of exhaustion, he missed it. Though, if anyone asked he wouldn't admit to having such fond feelings towards practice, it would break his image.

Rintarou found himself packing up his things for the week-long training camp when Keiko walked in.

“Rintarou, I wanted to talk to you about-”

“About volleyball?” He cut her off, expecting the old nagging Keiko to return and demand him to go to college or work a dead end job. 

“Yeah, about volleyball…” Keiko couldn’t meet her son’s eyes. She still thought it was unwise for him to go pro in any sport, but with Hiroshi finally off her back, she was trying to be a better mother to her children, even if it was too late to be a real parent.

“I just wanted to say that I’ll try supporting you in anything you decide to do.” Keiko bit back any of her usual retorts that wanted to claw their way to the surface. She took one look at Rintarou’s soft smile and decided it was worth it to let him try.

“Thanks mom.” Rintarou found it hard to be one hundred percent sincere with her, but Keiko was making an effort. He was fine meeting her half way.

Keiko didn’t move and stood in the doorway fidgeting with her nails. Rintarou threw a confused glance her way and zipped up his bag.

“I’m ready to go.” He walked past her and down the stairs. “See you later mom.”

“Do you want me to drive you to Inarizaki?” Keiko followed him to the door.

“I walk to school everyday, it’s not a big deal.” Rintarou slipped on his sneakers and grabbed the door handle.

“Are you sure?”

“You can’t fix everything overnight, mom.” He sighed and stepped outside, if he didn’t leave now he would be late. “But I appreciate the effort. Acceptance is the only thing I want from you.”

“Okay.” Keiko sounded glum, but Rintarou moved on with purpose. He didn’t need to think about family issues right now, he was about to spend a whole week with his two favorite things, volleyball and Osamu.

* * *

March 2019

Osamu leaned against the counter as Atsumu complained about his current love life. He was a good brother so he would bear Atsumu’s whining, but hearing Atsumu prattle on about ‘Omi-kun this’ and ‘Omi-kun that’ was starting to wear on his patience. Besides he’d rather talk about his own boyfriend, but apparently now was Sumu's time, so Osamu let his brother stay after hours and talk love with him.

“Sure there’s chemistry, but I dunno if we could ever live under the same roof! Sometimes it feels like he doesn't understand human emotions!” Atsumu shoved a rice ball in his mouth and talked with his mouth full. 

“Yuh wouldn’t know what it’s like,” Atsumu let his head thump against the counter top. “Yer and Sunarin’s relationship is perfect. Yer like the perfect couple.”

“It wasn’t all shits ‘n giggles and ya know it.” Osamu tucked clean dishes under the counter and put away his expensive cutlery.

"Yea, I know."

Osamu frowned thinking back on the time before he and Rintarou got together. Rintarou had been much more reserved and unaffectionate. He picked up a cup from the dish rack and dried it off.

"Why don'cha just tell him how ya feel?" Osamu threw the words out almost mockingly.

"Tell'em how I feel? Do you even know Sakusa Kiyoomi?"

"Apparently not." Times like these made Osamu wish Atsumu had a more stable love life. Atsumu sighed dramatically and slouched even more than he had before.

"Just tell him how ya feel and if he's not ready for a relationship just be there for him. Worked wonders for me." Things grew quiet and Osamu smiled faintly thinking of Rintarou.

“Ya good?” Atsumu pointed his chopsticks at Osamu. “You’ve been dryin’ that cup for a while.”

Osamu set it down and sighed. Atsumu really didn’t know how to enjoy peace and quiet, did he?

“Whatever!” Atsumu stood up and brought his dishes to the back. “I’m goin’ home. It’s late.”

Atsumu rinsed off his dishes and left them in the sink. Osamu gave him the stink eye, but the older twin didn’t pay any attention and slipped his mysby jacket on.

“Thanks fer lettin’ me rant.” The bell of the shop door rang when Atsumu left and Osamu finished wiping down the counter. The shop door rang again and Osamu tossed the dish rag in a bucket. “Ya forgot somethin’?”

“Nah, I just missed my boyfriend.” Rintarou stood at the door, a soft smile on his lips. Osamu didn’t hesitate to put everything else aside and greeted Rintarou with a kiss. Rintarou dropped his duffle bag and wrapped his arms around Osamu.

“What are ya doin’ here, Rin? The season’s not over yet.” Not that he was really complaining, Osamu wouldn’t skip out on spending time with his boyfriend.

“We had a gap in our schedule and I thought I should fly down to spend a few days with you.” Rintarou slouched a bit to comfortably hold Osamu and knocked the cap off his head to thread a hand in his hair.

“How thoughtful of ya.” Osamu got a good whiff of Rintarou’s shirt and instantly forced his way out of Rintarou’s arms. “Ahg! Ya smell worse than the dumpster out back! What the hell did ya do to smell so bad!”

“You’re so rough. I missed the train and had to sprint across the entire concourse to make it to my flight ontime.” Rintarou reached out his arms and Osamu swatted him away with a dish towel. “Don’t you love your boyfriend anymore?”

“Not until ya take a goddamn shower!”

Rintarou managed to grapple Osamu into another sweaty hug before picking up his duffel and heading towards the stairs to their apartment above Onigiri Miya.

“I’m gonna take a shower.” The playfulness had drained from Rintarou’s voice and he sounded completely exhausted. Osamu ran a hand through his hair to fix what Rintarou had messed up during their little exchange and took off his apron.

“Since ya got me all stinky anyway, I’ll join ya as soon as I lock up.”

Rintarou walked up the stairs and Osamu pulled out his keys to lock the door. Osamu smiled to himself, happy that he didn’t have to use a lump Rintarou’s sweatshirts as a stand in boyfriend.

* * *

Rintarou sighed happily as the hot water rolled off his back. Taking a burning shower after a long flight always felt good. The mirror was just starting to fog over when Osamu opened the door and shoved himself into the tiny shower.

"What? Ya wanted me to join, didn't ya?"

"I'm not complaining." Rintarou smiled and lathered shampoo in his hair.

There was a beat of silence where nothing happened. The water ran over their shoulders and their elbows would bump or their feet would touch. It was all horribly domestic and gushy, but Rintarou loved it anyway. Rintarou felt Osamu wrap his arms around his waist and rest his head on his shoulder.

"Missed ya."

Rintarou pried Osamu’s arms from his waist so he could turn around and give him a long drawn out kiss. It was slow and sensual and full of sweet longing passion, everything Rintarou missed during volleyball season. Rintarou broke away to breath and rested his hand on Osamu's hip.

"Let’s take this to bed." Rintarou smoothed back his wet hair and eyed Osamu.

"Horny bastard, I was tryna be sweet and ya go and ruin it with yer dick."

"So you're saying I don't satisfy you?" Osamu rolled his eyes.

"Not what I meant, asshole." Osamu turned off the shower when they finished rinsing. They patted dry with towels and did the bear minimum by slipping on boxers.

Rintarou was the first one to flop into bed and he cherished the cozy sheets and comfy pillows. Osamu crawled into bed after him and was briefly reminded of the first time they shared a bed. It was hardly romantic, he was more focused on comforting Rintarou at the time.

"What are you thinking about?" Rintarou asked in the pitch black.

"Just how lucky I am to have ya." Osamu traced Rintarou’s midrift under the sheets. God, he loved dating a pro athlete.

"Look who's getting horny now." Rintarou pulled him closer and they met in another kiss. This one was far more aggressive, their teeth clacked together as they fought for control.

"Fuck, I missed ya so much Rin." Osamu shoved his head under Rintarou’s chin and peppered sweet kisses on his collarbone.

"I missed you too 'Samu." They finally got into a comfortable position, Osamu half lying on Rintarou’s chest while Rintarou dropped an arm over Osamu’s waist.

Rintarou couldn’t have asked for a better domestic life with his boyfriend. Osamu was the best thing to ever happen to him.

They drifted asleep, content in each other's arms.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left kudos and wrote comments! The comments really pulled me through the fic and helped me finish it!


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